Batman avenged the death of his parents by training with the most fearsome ninja warrior of all time, Liam Neeson.
I didn't see the Hulk, but I'm assuming he stood a little too close to the microwave one day while cooking up a delicious Lean Cuisine chicken bacon ranch panini
Unfortunately, my creation story is nowhere near as exciting as any of these. I was born in Chicago on May 2, 1983. Then, there was childhood, which I either don't remember or i've repressed into the deepest recesses of my subconscious. I went to high school at Whitney Young Magnet High School, notable for it's famous alumni including the originator of the "terrorist fist jab"
I then spent four years at the University of Michigan. Michigan also has a number of notable alumni, including two that make me want to commit suicide:
When I returned to Chicago, the White Sox won the world series. This was a momentous occasion for a number of reasons. For one, it marked the last time I actually cheered for Juan Uribe:
More importantly, it allowed this to take place:
Then, nothing happened for a while. I got a job at the Illinois Eye Institute, where I've worked for the past two and a half years. I started law school at DePaul last fall, where I took evening classes while working during the day. This summer I'll be studying in Madrid for a month, before returning to Chicago for my second year of law school. I'll be updating in my free time, which will probably be nil once school starts in August. Hopefully by then, Alexi Ramirez will be well on his way to the AL rookie of the year. Meanwhile, Juan Uribe's fearless devotion to skoal and powdered donuts will leave him looking something like this:
Seriously, just get rid of him already.
No comments:
Post a Comment